Love Thy Neighbour
by kaze suzume
Summary: "This belongs to you." She hissed at him, thrusting his older cousin towards him as if he were the guilty owner responsible for the misbehaving puppy that had just peed on her carpet. [oneshot] AU non-mass CRACK [slight ItaSaku]


**Love thy Neighbour**

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Placing the last roll of bandages away in the supplies drawer and pushing it close with a muted thump, Uchiha Itachi reveled in the silence of his new apartment complex. It hadn't taken long to unpack what little personal belongings he owned to the small space, and he was pleased that it had come already furnished. He didn't have to enlist the help of his cousin or the few close friends he had to move furniture, and he would be able to keep this place from their knowledge for at least a short time.

His previous apartment had no longer become a place of peace and rest ever since the female tenant Otonashi Shizuka, owner of the room directly above him had made the worst decision of her life and allowed for her boyfriend, 'Dai-kun' to move in with her a month or so ago. The couple were in constant practice of exercising their lungs and vocal cords as they fought with devastatingly ear-piercing screams and highly breakable objects. When they tired of the constant repetition of throwing and missing they were instead reconciling and shouting for entirely different reasons that had made no impact on the the level of constant irritating volume.

First he optimistically thought that the couple would come to their miserable end and break things off, however when they didn't he began to slowly despair. He began to sleep back at the Uchiha district, much to his mother's glee, and it didn't take long for him to remember why he had set out to own a dwelling _outside_ of the clan walls in the first place. After the fifth time of having the pantry robbed by the bottomless glutton by the name of Uzumaki Naruto, his father's constant badgering, his brother's (beloved brother, he sometimes had to remind himself) mood swings and his mother's suggestion that he find a wife and move back home, he immediately began hunting for another apartment.

Which is why when he found a vacant room located in a small four-story complex in a relatively quiet residential area that wasn't too far from the Hokage tower, he lept at the opportunity and claimed it as his own. The elderly couple who lived to his right were pleasant despite their inquiries of any female attachments that he may or may not have had upon their first meeting.

Filling a kettle with water Itachi set it to boil as he pulled a tea cup with a mossy-green shade from his cupboard and powdered matcha. He briefly wondered what his second neighbour was like, however he wasn't worried since the old couple reassured him that, "She's just this lovely thing."

Of course there was the possibility of falling into the far-fetched tales of the cliché friendly next door neighbour whom would just so happen to be the perfect girl next door. She would then show up on his doorstep with a freshly baked lasagna and an offer to feel free to knock on her door if he ever needed a teaspoon of sugar. He blamed his mother for those notions.

Then again according to Shiranui the dream next door neighbour would be a 'hot booty-call' (Shiranui's words), who would provide him with all sorts of illicit trysts without any of the proverbial strings attached. It was why Itachi never really relied on the playboy's suggestions outside of missions.

Any Nara would find a neighbour to be too bothersome, and an Inuzuka would appreciate someone who didn't smell like a rotting corpse.

Pouring the matcha into his cup, he then filled it almost to the brim with hot water. Holding the expensive piece of handmade pottery with both hands, he lifted it to his lips and took a slow sip, the fragrance of the matcha calming his thoughts.

Ridiculous and improbable next door neighbours aside, he was sure his would be a perfectly normal—

Drywall and plaster exploded as a figure went hurtling through, plumes of dust billowed out and bits of wall scattered across polished hardwood flooring.

"Sa—Saku...ra..." Closing his eyes he prayed to kami-sama that he was wrong - that the feeble sorry excuse of a pleading man who had just been thrown through his new apartment wall was not his older cousin.

Dripping with water and clad in only a fluffy white towel that appeared to have been thrown haphazardly around her torso in her haste to cover herself, his younger brother's teammate Haruno Sakura stepped through the new entrance between them.

"Shisui!" Rage straightened her posture and she payed no mind to the dust that clung to her wet figure as she stalked towards the Uchiha attempting to stand and scramble away all at once. He didn't remember the last time he had seen the other in such a pathetic state.

Just as the furious kunoichi grabbed the front of his cousin's shirt with a vice grip, holding the man at an awkward angle he cleared his throat to make his presence known. Both heads whipped in his direction, and Shisui's eyes widened with hope while Sakura's narrowed with accusation.

"This belongs to you." She hissed at him, thrusting his older cousin towards him as if he were the guilty owner responsible for the misbehaving puppy that had just peed on her carpet.

"I'm afraid," he calmly responded. "My familial ties to Shisui do not make me accountable for him or his... transgressions."

"Oh?" Jade eyes flashed dangerously, putting him on edge. "Then I suppose I'll have to go to someone else. I wonder what Mikoto-san will think of this?"

At the threat the room went silent, both men stunned at the thought of the Uchiha matriarch discovering that Shisui had taken up voyeurism as a hobby and despite not sharing in the same activity, Itachi had been there and done nothing. To Mikoto, the lack of action would make him just as guilty, and the woman would make sure there would be hell to pay.

"No!' Shisui gibbered and sputtered, "you don't understand Sakura! Mikoto will slaughter us! And because it's my fault Itachi will slaughter me! She'll never look at me the same! She'll never make me dinner again!"

"Shisui." Itachi winced at the garble of poor excuses and knew that Shisui was now panicking. It would only make the situation worse and then began to contemplate if rendering his cousin unconscious would be the best course of action.

In his rush to placate the wronged female, Shisui scrambled to free himself from Sakura's fists and slipped on the newly dusted flooring. He pitched forward, his face planting itself into her towel clad chest.

"Shi-!" She began to shout at him, but was abruptly cut off when the older Uchiha struggled with his balance and grasped a fistfull of towel as he flailed to the ground. Both he and the towel collapsed in a heap on the floor, and Itachi's eyes opened comically wide.

Stark naked, Sakura stood as still as a statue, too shocked to even move to cover herself.

Snapping back from her momentary mental vacation, the pinkette had her foot planted firmly on the back of Shisui's head before it even made it half an inch off of the ground. The hardwood splintered, and Itachi wasn't able to discern if the wood cracking was responsible for the noise or if it was his cousin's nose.

"_Don't you dare look up, Uchiha Shisui."_

The murderous chill in her voice was one he could recognize, and the anbu captain had an inkling that it had been cultivated and sharpened over the many years of having teammates such as Hatake, Uzumaki, an ex-Root member and his own difficult younger brother. Looking at her now (and he most definitely took his time at that moment) he could admire how the kunoichi had grown from the admiring twelve-year-old girl into the successful woman she was now.

Setting down his cooling matcha (that now had a film of dust on the surface) with a barely audible clink, he stared into seething emerald orbs, making sure he had her attention, and deliberately lowered his sight as if she were standing for him to view at his leisure. After meeting her eyes once again, the rage had simmered to a stop and he was pleased with the deep flush that coloured her usually pale skin.

Neither of them spoke a word, but the Uchiha gave her a look that clearly read '_do not move from that spot_', briefly stepped into his room and reappeared with a neatly-folded yukata. Approaching the female who had not budged a millimeter, he draped the dark indigo and black striped material over her shoulders like a cloak, the extra length piling onto the ground and Shisui's shoulders. Pulling the hem together across her chest, he traced his fingers around her neck—nearly smirking when he felt her nervously swallow—and to the back of her shoulder, pulling her wet coral locks from underneath the material.

Breath hitching, Sakura stepped back, her eyes wide with surprise and utterly speechless. Quickly slipping her arms through the sleeves, she folded the large yukata around herself more securely and cleared her throat awkwardly, feeling completely out of her element and unsure of how to address this new side of Uchiha Itachi she didn't even knew existed prior to then. However she was saved from having to deal with it from the person who was responsible for the entire situation.

"You almost broke my nose Sakura-chan." Shisui whined while wiping away the excess blood. Glancing warily up at the female he nearly choked when he saw his cousin's yukata around her slender frame. It had been a gift from Aunt Mikoto, and Itachi cherished _everything_ his mother gave him.

Eyes flickering to the other Uchiha, he knew that the blank and uninterested look was merely a front, catching that miniscule flash in his cousin's eyes and it all clicked into place. Uchiha Itachi, clan heir and infamously sought out bachelor whom never formed any romantic attachments was so incredibly pleased with having Haruno Sakura dressed in one of his prized possessions. Pulling himself upright and attempting to dust off his clothes in vain, he sent his cousin a subtle smirk that only grew when he saw him stiffen.

"How convenient for two of my most favourite people to be living right next to each other." He mused out loud. "You should thank me for allowing you to get a head start on remodeling the place, Aunt Mikoto will be overjoyed." Itachi narrowed his eyes dangerously at him, and Sakura nearly hissed.

"I'm not remodeling anything and I doubt Mikoto-san will be overjoyed when she has to visit your grave!" The accused man waved it off as if it were trivial, a knowing smile on his face.

"Well I better be off," he sauntered towards Itachi's door cheerfully. "As nice it was to see you both, I wouldn't want to get in the way of new neighbours _getting to know each other_."

Sakura frowned with confusion.

Itachi glared.

Suddenly both men moved. Shisui first, body flickering towards the door only to duck to avoid having his head taken off by Itachi's kick. The older swept his leg out as he spun close to the ground and Itachi easily jumped to avoid it, his hand shot forward with the intention of dislocating an arm but only met empty space.

As if just catching up with them, the dust and air swirled within the room, causing the anbu captain's bangs to sway despite his stillness.

Sakura would have missed it all had she blinked.

"You'll have to be faster than that, cousin." Shisui laughed from his perch on Itachi's now open window. "Adios!" A little salute to his family, a wink to Sakura, and he was gone.

"What was that about?" Staring at the open window with disbelief, she glanced at the remaining Uchiha in the room and had to do a double take. While the raven-haired man's expression wasn't much different from the usual blank face, Sakura had spent most of her life in the presence of Uchiha and knew how to read them better than most. And even despite Sasuke being more expressive than most (with the exception of Shisui, who was an exception for most things in regards to the name Uchiha) there were faces that the Uchiha simply did not make.

Her teammate wouldn't admit to it under the threat of nothing other than instant ramen for two months, but all of team seven could easily recognize if Sasuke was bloated or constipated (or a combination of both) and therefore poke fun at him when he made any un-Uchiha-like expressions. But that was Sasuke, and he had spent his life being humanized by a Hatake, Uzumaki and Haruno. Itachi, while considered by Naruto as one of the better Uchiha, had not undergone the same conditioning as his younger brother, and therefore was believed to have a select few faces (which according to Sasuke were limited to blank, 'I will kill you', and 'I will kill you slowly and enjoy every second of your suffering') he presented to the world.

It was what team seven always thought, and so it came as a great shock that Uchiha Itachi was _sulking_.

"Itachi-san?" Blinking, the shinobi pulled himself from his plans of the most efficient way to prevent this from blowing completely out of proportion and returned his attention to the woman standing in his yukata.

"I apologize, Sakura-san." Stepping towards her, he lifted a lock of her pink hair that was now grainy and damp. "It seems you will have to shower again."

Smiling with a hint of pink on her cheeks, the female gave a slight shake to her head. "Like you said earlier, you aren't responsible for Shisui so there's no reason to apologize." Itachi gave her a small smile in return, and the kunoichi turned a shade redder. "I think I'll go take that shower now." She added in a rush, quickly pulling away and going through the hole in the wall back to her own living space.

After passing through, she paused while worrying her bottom lip, knowing that she was partly responsible for sending Shisui through it and making a mess of Itachi's home. Glancing back, Itachi caught her expression and understood her thoughts with ease.

"Do not worry about the wall, Sakura-san. We can discuss it later when you've taken care of yourself."

"Thank you, Ita—"

"SAKURA!" Naruto burst through her front door with Sasuke nearly on top of him, screeching to a halt when they found her and Itachi. Both her teammates paled drastically and looked devastated. "I—it can't be. Shisui was right!"

"What are you two—" She was cut off again when Sasuke grabbed her by the shoulders with white knuckles, shaking her furiously.

"Don't listen to him Sakura! _He can't be trusted!_"

"How could we let this happen?!" Naruto dramatically howled as he fell to his knees.

"That's enough!" Tired of being manhandled the pinkette shoved a hysterical Sasuke away from her and slapped Naruto over the head. "What is _wrong_ with you two?"

"I'm so sorry Sakura-chan!" Naruto pulled at the yukata as if pawing for forgiveness. "I should have listened to Teme when he told me Itachi was the devil-incarnate!"

Sakura spared the older Uchiha a glance only to receive an unamused eyebrow raise in return.

Sasuke whirled on his beloved older brother. "How dare you do this to Sakura. When Mother finds out what you did—"

"And what exactly did I do, little brother?" Itachi questioned in almost a bored tone of voice.

"You took her innocence!" Both men shouted in sync.

"What?" Sakura deadpanned.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, we'll take care of the bastard for you."

"And once Kakashi finds out all of us can take care of him." Sasuke continued with a crazed glint in his eyes. "We'll make sure there isn't anything left to bury."

"I'd like to see you try, Sasuke."

"Don't encourage him!" Sakura scolded Itachi who was much too amused with the situation for her liking. "Itachi did _not_ take my innocence. Where the hell did you even get the idea?"

"Shisui!"

"Really Naruto? _Shisui?_"

"He said there was a giant hole in your wall and he's right!" Naruto reasoned.

"You're wearing the yukata Mother gave him!" Sasuke accused.

"There's a good reason—"

"And you're not wearing anything underneath it!" Naruto had pried open the front of the yukata, and immediately was sent flying across the room via chakra-punch.

Sakura then stomped over to Sasuke, pulled the collar of his shirt roughly so that their noses were inches apart, his taller frame bending down awkwardly. "You and Naruto get out of my apartment before I demonstrate exactly how that hole in the wall was made." She hissed at the wide-eyed Uchiha. "And _then_ you are to find Shisui and tell him that if he ever decides to peep on me in the shower again I will _euthanize_ him. Got it?"

Sasuke had picked up Naruto and left through the door in less than three seconds.

Heaving a sigh, the female double checked to make sure she was properly covered and turned to Itachi curiously. "Did Mikoto-san really give this to you?"

"Yes, it was a gift." Blinking in surprise Sakura wanted to face-palm. Why couldn't he have just given her another towel instead of something so obviously important to him to cover her gritty-plaster covered skin?

"I'll make sure to get it cleaned before returning it, Itachi-san."

"Keep it."

"I can't—"

"It is customary to present new neighbours with a gift, is it not?"

"Yes but—"

"Then it's now yours. I look forward to having you as a neighbour, Sakura."

"I don't have anything to give you in return." She replied, vaguely aware that Itachi had used her name without any suffixes.

"Not at all. I greatly appreciated it." At first she was confused, but then his eyes roamed down her body just as he had done earlier—_before_ he had draped the yukata over her very _naked_ body. Sakura's face burned crimson.

"Have a good day, Sakura. Enjoy your shower."

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**A/N:**

Well, if anything good has come from my writer's block is that I'm getting all my unfinished oneshots done? I'm sorry, I'll try to keep writing my other stories oTL


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